Of Our Misplaced Faith

A couple days ago I picked up my Book or Mormon, and chose a random scripture to read during my lunch break, What I read was eye opening. It showed me that my faith in missionary work has been misplaced. Heck, maybe my faith as a whole has been misplaced, and maybe I need to make that self-evaluation.

The scripture I read is Ether 12:14: 

"Behold, it was the faith of Nephi and Lehi that wrought the change upon the Lamanites, that they were baptized with fire and with the Holy Ghost."

We are all guilty of it to some degree. We ponder the faith of our friends, and our family. We say to ourselves, and to the missionaries at our dinner table that "They're not ready." "Oh, she would never listen to the discussions." "He wouldn't be interested right now." "They're a great family, but they both drink, and smoke." etc. etc. etc.

When we ponder the individuals and families we want to share the gospel with, we often place our faith (or lack of faith) in them. After all, it is up to them whether or not they join the church, right? It's not that they don't have faith, many of them do, but its not their faith that will bring them to the waters of baptism. No, it is our faith in them and their ability to change, our faith in ourselves to take the first step toward their conversion, our faith in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to guide our hands, and to affect change in the hearts and minds of his children. We too can be as Nephi and Lehi to change the hearts of the people, but we must first realize that it is our part to have the faith to do so.

Sometimes I look at this city I live in, Portland, Oregon, and I wonder how can we teach and baptize the people here? It's quite the strange city, where coffee, microbreweries, and strip clubs are as much a part of the culture as church buildings, Temples, and Diet Coke are in Provo, Utah. It is not their lack of faith that blinds their eyes, so much as our lack of faith in them that gives them nothing to see. It is not their inability to change that prevents them from repenting, so much as our lack of faith in their ability to change that gives them nothing to change for. It is OUR responsibility to be the catalyst for change in their hearts, not their own.

Brothers and sisters, look into your hearts and ask yourselves:

Do I have faith that those I love can be changed? 

Do I have faith that they will see the light of the Gospel?

Do I have faith that they are capable of 

repentance? 

Do I have faith that if I deliver the message of the gospel to my friends that the Holy Ghost will testify to them of the truth of all things? 

Do I have faith that through the Atonement, those I love can find peace, fulfillment, and the ability to change into the sons and daughters of God?

If you can't answer yes, then it is time to plant the seed of your faith, and nurture it until you can.

My Conversion Story

Disclaimer: Normally, I don't get all too personal on my blog. I have an aversion to feelings in general. Feelings are often uncomfortable, painful, and most disagreeable to the lacrimal glands, so I avoid them, much like rational people avoid asphyxiation, rattlesnakes, poisonous spiders, bears, dark alleys, and canned peas. So, consider this a special occasion, if you will.

Canned Pea Monster

MY CONVERSION

I remember my own baptism well. The date was October 19, 1997. I was living in the small town of Farmington, New Mexico. I was 19 at the time. My father, in the midst of a difficult battle with hepatitis C, had committed suicide just over a year earlier. My family took it hard. Our lives had been turned upside down.

In search for answers I chose a comfortable set of beliefs. I chose to believe that when my father died he just stopped existing. He would never return. I would never have to see him again, and he could never hurt me again. (See the disclaimer). So, death was ultimate, unimaginable nothingness. There was no hope, no misery. No pain, no relief. The absence of being, the absence of consciousnesses. Nothing.

Through a train of influences and conversations I found myself talking with Elder Orr from small town Idaho, and his odd, violin playing, trunky companion. Over the next two weeks I would read from 1 Nephi through 3/4 of Alma, and the books of 3 Nephi, 4 Nephi, and Moroni. (I read the rest later) The Spirit was strong with me at that time, enough to throw out all doubt that anything else could be true. It was truly amazing.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints had the answer to every significant question I had about life, death, and deity. There was no question I couldn't answer by searching for it in the scriptures. One of those questions was answered in Alma 40:11. This scripture told me what happened to us after death. My Father, the unbeliever, the monster, dad, had been "taken home to that God who gave [him] life." 

Not since my father died had I experienced such strong emotions about his death. I cried as I read, and reread this verse. All of a sudden the death that released me from my own personal h*ll became the death that released my father from his own personal captivity. I could see Heavenly Father pulling my Earthly father in with a warm embrace. There was joy. There were tears (as much as a spirit can shed tears). There was no more unbelief. 

Heavenly Father would then have a frank conversation with him. He would show appreciation for his honest heart, and attempts to help those who couldn't help themselves. He would chastise him for his errors, and counsel with him on the work he needed to do. My Father would then get to work on his own repentance. The sweet out-weighed the bitter for the first time in at least 12 years.

My father in the army in the early 70s.
"And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers"
Malachi 4:6

So, two weeks after my first meeting, Elder Orr stood next to me, held my arms, said those magic words, and baptized me. I died. Then I was pulled out of the water, my old self gone. A new man rose from that warm, watery grave. A man of doubt, unbelief, and contention was buried, and a man of hope, love, and belief was given new life. An animal took it's last breath, and seconds later, a child of God took it's first. Like a newborn babe, my eyes were set to wonder. Life had taken on new meaning. Even the smallest, most mundane activity was in similitude of Christ's life, death, or resurrection. My life had new meaning. It was no longer about my Earthly success, but it was also about my spiritual success.

A year and a half I would return Elder Orr's favor and serve in the Idaho, Pocatello mission.

In two weeks my life was changed forever, quite literally, forever.

EQ Pre-Lesson: Joseph Fielding Smith Chapter 9: Witnesses of the Book of Mormon

Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Fielding Smith

Chapter 9: Witnesses of the Book of Mormon

This week we are discussing Chapter 9 of the Joseph Fielding Smith Manual. Instead of going over the lesson as a whole in this blog, I'm going to cover a few vital points.

What is truth?

"All truth is independent in that sphere in which God has placed it, to act for itself, as all intelligence also, otherwise there is no existence." (D&C 93:30)

Some would say that there are two types of truth, spiritual truths, and temporal (or scientific) truths. However, truth is all in one. Truth exists without bias. One truth does not put itself above another. Truth IS; no more, no less. Interpretation and application is what gives order and meaning to truth. Deciphering the truth, it's importance, and meaning is sometimes the most difficult thing to do. 

The gospel is true. It contains many truths. It is up to each of us to discover the truth(s) of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and of the Book of Mormon. Just as scientists dedicate their lives to discovering the universe, and all things in it, we dedicate ourselves to discovering God, and all his teachings. We begin this process by following Moroni's promise, "And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost." (Moroni 10:4) This is just a beginning though. We can't do do this once, and expect to be enlightened for life. We have to go through this same process over and over throughout our lives.

So, after having found the Book of Mormon to pass the test of truth, it is then our duty to determine it’s value. As I said before, the order and importance of truth is irrelevant without interpretation and application. So, how important is the Book of Mormon to you? Has it changed you? “Have ye been spiritually born of God?... Have ye experienced this mighty change of heart?” (Alma 5:14) These aren’t questions anybody can answer, except for you. Ponder the change the Book of Mormon has brought about in you. The greater the change, the more you should consider its importance.

"Do eternal consequences rest upon our response to this book?
Yes, either to our blessing or our condemnation"
- President Ezra Taft Benson -

STANDING AS A WITNESSES

That's a peculiar phrase isn't it? It's strong. It's powerful. It doesn't inspire movement. Wait, what? Standing as a witness inspires us to stand. This isn't about taking the gospel to the world. This is about standing firm. This is about holding firm to the Iron Rod when the scorn from the great and spacious building gets personal. This is about standing strong in your testimony in the face of temptation, persecution, false doctrine, harassment, ridicule, or provocation. This is about being firm and immovable. Standing as a witness at all costs.

So, let's tie all of this together:

1. Discover the truth of the gospel. Not "your truth," but the unalterable truth that does not change based on your opinions, how you feel, or who you're trying to impress.
2. Evaluate the importance of the truth you have discovered. What does it mean to you? Is it something  you need to protect, and keep for your own, or something you want to share with others?
3. Stand as a witness. Be firm, and immovable.

Homework:
Read the lesson
Evaluate areas of your life where you struggle to stand as a witness of the Book of Mormon, and the restored gospel.
Strengthen your testimony in those areas so that you may stand firm, and immovable as a witness of the Book of Mormon, Christ, and his restored gospel.

Like it or not

Portland, Oregon Temple, Moroni's Spire

Most of us don't like to be put on the spot. It's uncomfortable, and makes us nervous. Well, guess what, you are on the spot all the time. As a Mormon you are an ambassador of not just the church, but of Jesus Christ himself.

Ponder on that for a moment.

Look at yourself, members of your congregation, your ward and stake leaders, and the General Authorities. When you consider their example, do you see individuals, or examples of Mormonism? Do you consider yourself an example of Mormonism?

Like it or not, YOU are the example of the church to your friends, coworkers, classmates, etc. Whether or not you live righteously, whether or not you are Christlike, the attributes you exhibit to the people you know are how they will see ALL Latter-Day Saints.

I found this out firsthand. I wasn't active when I started my current job. I didn't tell anybody I was LDS, and I certainly didn't talk like I was. As people found out they would say things like, "I didn't know you're Mormon, you don't act Mormon." I felt guilty, shouldn't those I see everyday be able to say something more like, "I didn't know you're Mormon, but I can see it now that I know."

Well, I've cleaned up a bit since then. I do my best to be an example of Christ, and of Latter-Day Saints. I don't always do well at it, but I try nonetheless.

Remember this when  you interact with others. Are you being an example of Latter-day Saints? Your example is THE example by which they will view the church. Are you a good example?

Pondering, a Lifetime Affair

In the October 1971 General Conference Bruce R. McConkie stated, “To worship the Lord is to study the gospel, to treasure up light and truth, to ponder in our hearts the things of the Kingdom, and to make them part of our lives. It is to pray with all the energy of our souls, to preach by the power of the spirit, to sing songs of praise and thanksgiving.” I love how he tells us to ponder in our hearts, and make them a part of our lives. This alludes to us not just to pondering for a little while, but to pondering for a life time. Pondering lasts our whole lives. When we ponder something, we are really interested in it, and we ponder that subject multiple times throughout our lives as the Spirit touches us, and as we learn, that knowledge enhances, and is enhanced by other knowledge.

Pondering is the key by which I understand most things, and come to many conclusions. My mind is often left unsatisfied with the typical answers to life’s most important questions, so I ponder them a lot. Questions like, “Why is it important for us to have the gospel?”, “How did God create the universe?”, and “How does one choose their favorite football team?” I am often alleviated at first with a spirit of comfort to know that God is in charge of these things, or of their level of importance in the scheme of things. Then it is usually some time later that I come back to the question, mostly because I’ve been introduced to new knowledge from the scientific community, or elsewhere. Then I study the new learning, and compare it to scripture, and pray for answers on how the two connect.

He's got your six

The oldest son of two of our cohort members was killed in combat yesterday (4/12/14) in Afghanistan. I didn't know their son but I'm being deeply affected by it because of BYU-I. The term "I've got your six" is a military term. Where 12 o'clock is straight ahead, 6 o'clock is directly behind you, so "I've got your six" is the military version of "I've got your back." We learned about this in our class 2 weeks ago when the soldier's father taught our lesson, and I asked him about his 6 pin, which he was wearing to support his son. No phrase has taken on more meaning for me than this phrase did tonight for me when our cohort stayed 20 minutes late discussing what we can do for them.

So, I wanted to incorporate this into my post. (Originally a post for school)

When God told Samuel to return to the Lamanites he knew it would be dangerous. However, God had his six. When Samuel was upon the wall "they cast stones at him upon the wall, and also many shot arrows at him as he stood upon the wall; but the Spirit of the Lord was with him, insomuch that they could not hit him, insomuch that they could not hit him with their stones neither with their arrows." Hel 16:2

I think this is true for all of us when we do the Lord's will. I remember being in the MTC in 1999. One of our instructors was teaching us something in the Book of Mormon to teach to investigators. Just as I was going to sarcastically ask if she could just come with us to do our teaching, I heard, in my mind, "Why would you need her when you have me?" I immediately shut my mouth, and have since pondered that statement over and over. I'm starting to think that means that God has our back, in whatever way we need it. Whether to help us teach, or to protect us from harm, he's there for us. We just have to have the courage to do his will.

This doesn't mean that we will not come to harm, but if we do, we will have other blessings at his hand, and if we perish in his service, then he's got our six in the next life.

Love and Indifference

Alma 31:2 "For it was the cause of great sorrow to Alma to know of iniquity among his people; therefore his heart was exceedingly sorrowful because of the separation of the Zoramites from the Nephites."

I noted in these verses how Alma feels about his fellowman, and our contrast (in general) in our day.

In American culture we try to let others find their own happiness. We don't worry whether they find that happiness in sin or righteousness, as long as their happiness doesn't step on our rights, or in some cases, offend us.

If somebody unrelated to us is living wickedly we tend to just plain forget about them. We may make snide remarks, or judge their choices, but within minutes we've moved on without another thought.

In other instances we take great offense. We grow angry, and our hearts become inflamed with indignation. We are so proud of our own righteousness that we make the grave error of playing God by passing judgment upon our brethren.

In contrast, Alma worries over the sins of his brethren, not out of indignation, but out of love. He's concerned that the judgment of God will come down upon them because of their wickedness. He wants them to repent, and not because of some imaginary offense against him.

He also doesn't ignore the problem. He doesn't look upon sin and inequality with a blind eye to what he doesn't want to see. He wants his people to be happy, all of them. He wants them to live righteously for their sake, not his own.

So, the question I pose is how can we use Alma's example in our present day? How can we change our perspective and approach to today's political climate so that we don't look like a bunch of radical haters?

Our God, Our Deliverer

Mosiah 25:16 "And he did exhort the people of Limhi and his brethren, all those that had been delivered out of bondage, that they should remember that it was the Lord that did deliver them."

Remember that it is the Lord that delivers us from bondage, and once you are delivered from bondage, do not forget that it was the Lord who delivered you. This is true for temporal bondage, as well as spiritual bondage. This isn't to say that we don't have our own part to do. We need not only faith; we need to work. Doing our part to free ourselves from bondage, whether through repentance, making debt payments, finding appropriate representation, etc., is requisite to God doing his part to free us.

The gospel is a gospel of work, of us learning, and growing. We don't grow from being bailed out every single time we're in trouble. If we were we'd all be spoiled rotten brats. Our Heavenly Father will supplement our efforts with his efforts. He will give us peace and help us to find and use the tools he has provided to set us free.

That being said, there are situations that some are not freed from. Some of those are consequences of our own actions, and some are from circumstances beyond our control. Others are the result of tyranny, such as during the holocaust, the Rwandan genocides, or any number of horrible things that happen in our world. In those situations the Lord can provide peace to the heart and mind, and he will punish those tyrants for their sins against the people. Many times the peace the comes for people in those extremes is an end to suffering. I really don't want to go further into that right now. These situations are too painful, and unimaginable for me to ponder too deeply.

For those in other anguish, such as depression, and abuse remember that the Lord is the one who can, and will deliver you. Be sure to do your part, which is using the tools provided us, i.e. medication, therapy, friends, spiritual leaders, legal authority, etc. It may be a hard road, but remain faithful and you will find peace.

Truth and the True Church

Mosiah 4:8 "And this is the means whereby salvation cometh. And there is none other salvation save this which hath been spoken of; neither are there any conditions whereby man can be saved except the conditions which I have told you."

This is an interesting statement, and a bold proclamation, especially in our day. Our nation, the United States tries to be so PC about every belief system, and it has created this pernicious doctrine that everybody is right, and nobody is wrong, and that is the work of Satan. Because, if everybody is right, and every religion is correct, then what does it matter what religion you join. This thought process trivializes religion. Religion becomes a lifestyle choice, dependent on factors that have nothing to do with God. There is no search for truth, because the truth is in front of you, in whatever form you accept it.

This search for truth is what separated Joseph Smith from so many others. While most people were seeking the church they liked the best, or fit with their way of thinking best, Joseph Smith wanted to know the untainted truth, not what he wanted to hear, but what God wanted him to hear.

D&C 93:30 tells us that “all truth is independent in that sphere in which God has placed it”, this statement means that truth is independent of our beliefs, and knowledge, or lack thereof. Truth is truth, and cannot be changed. The truth does not change, just our understanding about the truth.

Just as Ammon stated, “there is none other salvation save this which hath been spoken of”, we need to be telling the world that there is no other true church upon the Earth, and no other true doctrine. If every church is right, then every doctrine in every church is correct. If every doctrine in every church is correct, then God is changeable to interpretation. If God is changeable, then he is not God, for God is unchangeable. And if there be no God, then no church is correct, because all churches teach of God in a different way. If no church is correct then we are, as Paul said, “Of all men most miserable.” (1 Cor 15:19)

Earning God's trust

How does one become a prophet, apostle, or get into other "prestigious" callings in the church? I used to think it was because the Lord chose them for whatever characteristics they naturally had, whatever strengths they had, or that they had lots of luck. Recently I’ve learned that the Lord calls those he can trust and the people the Lord trusts have to earn that trust. Lehi and Nephi earned the trust of the Lord by doing as they were commanded, having faith in the Lord, praying diligently and with true intent, and trusting that they were doing the right thing (not murmuring). The funny thing though, is that all of these are basic gospel principles, but are so easy to fail at doing.

Contrast this with the doctrine of foreordination, the doctrine that Heavenly Father determined our callings and ordinations in the pre-mortal life. (Alma 13:3) This is a doctrine I used to struggle with until I gained some additional understanding. Much wrong has been done by men that were "predestined" to sit in a position of power. However, this doctrine is different than that of God just choosing men he wants to rule without them ever presenting of body of work before him. The men he chooses as his prophets were foreordained in the pre-Earth life because of the work they did there, and as spirits proved their worth, and gained the Father's trust. Then when they came to this life they had to continue their good works.

I am sure many were foreordained who never even stepped foot inside a church, which is the beauty and bitterness of Heavenly Father's plan. Many are chosen to do the work, but only a few follow. Just because a man is foreordained doesn't mean that he must follow the path he was foreordained for. On the same token, I imagine that there are many who were not foreordained to any calling in this life, but gained Heavenly Father's trust because of the work they've done in this life.

The point is that our agency allows us to prove ourselves to our Heavenly Father whether we "will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command [us]." (Abr 3:25) Whether or not we proved ourselves in the pre-mortal life, we must still prove ourselves in this life if we are going to do as we were foreordained to do.

Testimony and Conviction

Most apparent in the first chapters of 1 Nephi is the principle of testimony. 1 Nephi begins with Lehi’s vision, followed by Lehi calling his people to repentance. Without a testimony, Lehi’s vision would have meant very little to him. Though we think that if we had such an experience we would also have a testimony, Laman and Lemuel prove us wrong when the angel visits them outside the walls of Jerusalem. Despite seeing an angel, they continue to murmur, and do not gain a testimony of the gospel. Lehi, however, holds true to his testimony, even when his life is in danger. Nephi also gains a testimony, and does so by praying about his father’s experience to ask if it is true with faith that he will receive an answer.

Lehi testifies of the truth despite persecution. His life is in danger, and he sticks to his guns. I know that I don’t have that much conviction. I usually clam up when people talk badly about the church in fear of being singled out. However, that is not the Lord’s way. Even as a ward missionary I find it difficult to face the persecution.