Repentance: A Deeper Cleaning

Before I left on my mission I was working with my Branch President to resolve a couple of transgressions. I did what I needed to do, and left on my mission. I’ve since worked with my bishops to repent of various things that come up, but it wasn’t until this past Sunday that I fully understood repentance.

Imagine, if you will a gorgeous home with a beautiful white carpet that you swear twinkles silver in the right light. One day, you come home from a hunting trip and forget to take your shoes off as you sneak in late at night. The next morning you hear a wail coming from the hallway. You run out to find your wife staring at the muddy, maybe even bloody (you were hunting, right?) boot tracks going from the garage, into the kitchen, to the bathroom, then right into the bedroom. You made a mess, and it has to be cleaned!

In the traditional view of repentance you clean the boot prints, maybe even hire a professional carpet cleaner, or even replace some carpet! The problem is taken care of, and you vow to never come inside with muddy boots again.

Call it revelation. Call it actually reading the manual, but this last Sunday I had a spark of personal revelation about repentance that makes it so much more than spot cleaning.

Chapter 19 of the Gospel Principles Manuel outlines the repentance process, and goes a step further than the tried and true final step of repentance, which is to “NEVER DO IT AGAIN.” Under the subheading, “We must keep the commandments of God.” It reads, “To make our repentance complete we must keep the commandments of the Lord. We are not fully repentant if we do not pay tithes or keep the Sabbath day holy or obey the word of wisdom. We are not fully repentant if we do not sustain the authorities of the Church and do not love the Lord and our fellowmen. If we do not pray and are unkind to others, we are surely not repentant. When we repent, our life changes.”

So, going back to our example, when we choose to clean the carpet and never bring our muddy boots inside again, to be truly repentant, we don’t only get those carpets spotlessly cleaned, but we work to keep the rest of the house clean as well. We vacuum the floors, clean the bathrooms, and dust the house. And not just the one time! We keep the house clean, and continually work to make sure it doesn’t fall into a state is disrepair. It is no longer about filthy boots, it is about our beautiful home.

Knowing this, I can look back on my life and see that I’ve never truly repented. Sure, I’ve improved my life overall, and I’ve made a lot of good choices, but I don't think I've ever become a "new creature” in Christ. (Mosiah 27:26, 2 Cor 5:17) I still have a long way to go. Now, it is my duty to clean my own proverbial house, and to keep it clean. I must learn to be Christlike to others, better keep the Sabbath day holy, watch my language, and a score of other things.

What it really comes down to is following the Savior's admonition found in John 14:15, "If ye love me, keep my commandments." Only then can we become new men in Christ.

A World in Turmoil

A WORLD IN TURMOIL

I don’t like watching the news. It’s not because I don’t want to know what’s going on in the world, but because it either makes me sad or angry, there is enough spin to throw me off the carousel, or I don’t care what Megan Fox wears to every TMNT premier, especially right after hearing about some act of terrorism, or mass genocide somewhere in the world.

It also makes my life feel small, and insignificant. My problems are infinitesimal in comparison to the rest of the world’s problems. I broke my foot in late July. So what? A young mother in Iraq wishes her son still had a foot. I don’t always like my job. So what? A street urchin begging for change in Denver’s 16th Street mall gave up on employment months ago.  My apartment is small, overpriced, and laid out strangely. So what? A war veteran, who will be sleeping underneath Portland’s Burnside Bridge tonight, would be happy to wake up here every day. It’s too hot outside. So what? Millions of people live in the hot African sun, with no shelter to speak of, and less water to drink for the whole day than I just washed my hands with.

What right do I have to complain while my brothers and sisters suffer throughout the world?

Earlier today I was reading about violent acts of anti-Semitism throughout the world. If anything gets under my skin its violence, abuse, or hatred of any one people based on something that separates them from others, i.e. race, sex, sexual orientation, religion, ethnicity, class. Unfortunately, there has been a rise in this kind of hatred in recent years. I see it all over the internet, on TV, out of the mouths of loved ones, on the street, everywhere. I am continually appalled by the thoughts, words, and actions of otherwise upstanding citizens.

LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR

Are we not commanded to love our brothers and sisters as we love ourselves? I was recently asked what that means, because every person thinks of love differently than every other person. I’ve thought about that question a lot since it was presented to me, and the answer came to me while studying for our Elders Quorum lesson. That answer comes from our prophet, Joseph Fielding Smith. President Smith’s third wife, Jesse, “often said of her husband, ‘He is the kindest man I have ever known. I have never heard him speak an unkind word.’ He would respond, with a smile, ‘I don’t know any unkind words.’” (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Joseph Fielding Smith, chapter 15)

You can rest assured that President Smith was human. Like any other man, I am sure he knew many unkind words. However, I think what he meant was that his heart didn’t know any unkind words. This goes the step beyond Thumper’s mother’s saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” The saying, though classic, and well said, still allows us to feel unkindness in our hearts. President Smith’s example is for us to have no unkindness in our hearts at all. If there is no unkindness, then there is nothing you have to keep yourself from saying.

Is this not an attainable Godly Attribute? Can we not turn our hearts in love toward our brethren? Can we not change the world, just a little bit at a time by committing ourselves to loving our fellow creatures in Christ?

COMFORT

As Latter-Day Saints we have a sure knowledge of the Plan of Salvation, and know our place in it. We know that this life is but a small part of our own eternity. My Patriarchal Blessing tells me, “While the world is in commotion and there’s a lot of unrest, and there’s not the happiness that needs to be there, remember that in the Kingdom of God things are intact.”I think this is important for people like me, who empathize with the world, and are saddened by the poverty, and the acts of hatred and violence that are so prevalent in today’s world. If you’ve gotten this far in reading, then you are also likely to benefit from such comfort.

While all is NOT well in Zion, it is well in the Kingdom of God, and will all be straightened out on the other side. The saddest part may be the number of people whose hearts are closed to the word of God because of their hatred for the God’s children who do not match their narrow description of good human beings.

Seek to Serve

It's hot tonight in Oregon, and Oregon doesn't believe in AC, just box fans in the window. When its this hot I can't sleep. When I can't sleep I either listen to the Helen Jane Long radio station on Pandora (calm piano), or listen to the scriptures/conference talks on the Gospel Library app for Android.

Tonight, I chose the October 1997 General Conference. I got through the first two talks before I had to move to a cooler location. (I.e. the couch) So here I am, on the couch blogging from my smartphone.

Before I started this though I was stalking my measly 200 friends on Facebook. One of them posted this meme:

Found here

This meme went perfectly with those first two conference talks. In the second talk, "Called to Serve", President Boyd K. Packer talks about our service in the church, not just serving in callings, but serving with our hearts, and spirits, not just when called by revelation from Priesthood Authority, but when revelation from the Holy Ghost calls us to serve.

This goes in line with the meme above because we don't know the fight others are putting up, but our Father in Heaven does, and he gives each of us the Gift and inspiration of the Holy Ghost to serve our fellow creatures.

The first steps are the hardest. We don't always know the voice of the Spirit if we aren't accustomed to listening to it. So we don't know if we are on a wild goose chase, or following the Spirit until we've tested our inspiration.  However, we can learn to hear that voice, and discern its origin.

Elder Packer tells us to " cultivate a spirit of service." And this may be the best advice. We need to first show the Lord that we are willing to serve, and will follow his inspiration. When we have proven that he can trust us with his revelations, then he can send us where he needs us.

How do we cultivate the Spirit of service? Just do it. Get out there, and serve. Start with helping set up chairs before church, prepare your lessons, talks, etc. Carefully and with your class in mind. Pray for guidance. Talk to your bishop about your desire to build your desire to serve.

There is also an unintended consequence of service. I've seen it more times than I know. That is friendship. When you serve others you learn to love them, and you make strong bonds based on mutual respect, and love.

This, I think, is an important lesson for our day. We live in a world that is perpetually more and more inward facing. Many people care only for themselves, and their conveniences. Few take their headphones off to listen, talk, or serve. It is a sad state of affairs.

Let us not forget the two greatest commandments, to love God first, and our neighbor second. I pray that we haven't yet forgotten, and if we have, that we can remember again.

Remember, you don't know the struggle of another, so be prepared to listen to the Spirit, and serve with all your heart. If you are prepared, the Lord will trust you to follow his guidance.

Identity Crisis

There has been a big push recently to normalize Mormons. We are trying to fight the stigma that we are strange, 3 legged beasts, sprouting horns, carrying off dozens of women to Utah to be our wives. Nobody wants to be strange. Nobody wants to stick out. When you stick out people ask you strange questions that you are either tired of answering, or feel unqualified to answer. Nobody likes the spot light, but we are in it, Like it or Not.

Don't get me wrong here. I think the push is a great idea. The church, and it's members are doing a great job, maybe greater than ever, of shining their light to the world. However, we should be cautious to not lose who we are in the process. Here are some thoughts (mostly from my own life) on this subject.

WHO ARE WE?

This most recent General Conference (where I got my inspiration for this post) spoke heavily to me about my identity. It made me ask the question, "Who am I?" This wasn't the same question we answer in Sunday School, "I'm a child of God." Though pertinent, and applicable, I'm taking about a different question. That is, "Who am I at church? Am I the same person at home, at work, with friends, with family, and in the Temple? Do I have a secure identity? Do I really know who I am?"

I can unfortunately answer "no" to those questions. I struggle to be the upstanding church member when I'm not at church,or in the Temple. I'm not breaking obvious commandments, like drinking, smoking, or fornicating, but I do indulge in raucous laughter, boisterousness, don't always use clean language, and can throw an impressive temper tantrum. I'm prideful, and I try to fit in with the in-crowd. I just want to be liked, or left alone. Don't we all?

“When you are alone, are you in good company?” - Boyd K.Packer

A LIFETIME OF STUDY

We are members of the church. We are also many other things. We wear many different hats. The question is whether these are all separate identities. The question then is who are you at the core? You are a child of God, but what does that mean? What role does that play in your life? How should a child of God act? How should a Latter day Saint act? 

These are simple, yet complex questions to answer. The best I can say is to study Christ and his teachings. Study the prophets, and apostles. Don't rely on your own understanding of what a man of Christ would do, but learn it for yourself, then try to emulate it. Sorry for not having a clean-cut answer, but this is something that takes a lifetime of study and practice to truly understand. It is up to you to dedicate yourself to that endeavor.

TRUTHS AND LIES

There are many lies out there. There are more lies than there are truths, and it is hard to decipher between the two sometimes. However, I want to cover a few that are significant when we consider who it is we are when we are not at church, or at the Temple.

Truth: One purpose of mortality is to gain a body, and learn to care for it.

Lie: The only reason you came to earth is for a body, and your self worth (as well as everybody else's) is dependent upon how that body looks in a swimsuit.

Truth: We are a Christian Church.

Lie: We are a Christian Church, and we should learn to fit in with other Christian Churches, so it's okay to conform to their version of the truth as long as I have a testimony of the True Church.

Truth: Our friendships should not be exclusive to active LDS church members.

Lie: We should make people like us by conforming to their standards. It's okay to tell a dirty joke or two if it makes you look normal.

Truth: It is important to keep the commandments.

Lie: It is important to keep the commandments, and we must shun, demean, and deride those who don't keep the commandments, especially if they know better.

Truth: I am a child of God, and am special in his sight.

Lie: I am a child of God, so I am specialler than you.

Truth: God Loves me, and I can repent of the wrong I've done.

Lie: God loved me, but I messed up pretty bad, so he can't love me anymore, and if he doesn't love me, then I don't have any worth, so there's no point in keeping ANY of the commandments.

Truth: The two great commandments are to love God, then to love your neighbor as yourself.

Lie: The greatest commandment is to take care of number one.

REMEMBER

This life isn't a popularity contest, or a game show. This life, your life, is the real deal. You only get one shot at it. Are going to live it for show? Are you going to parade around in a different costume for every crowd your in, and every job you do? Are you going to compromise your morals because of your own insecurity? Are you going to compromise your doctrinal beliefs to avoid (or start) an argument? Can you see the person wearing a McDonald's uniform, or conversely a three-piece suite as your equal? Are you a LDS at church? Are you LDS at work? Are you LDS at home? Are you LDS at a party with friends? Are you LDS home alone? Are you LDS in front of beggars? Are you LDS in business meetings? Are you LDS on vacation?

WHO ARE YOU? 

That's a bigger question than you think, and one that takes great introspection, and practice to answer. It's a question of not just identity, but of personality, self-worth, and character.

BE WHO YOU ARE WHEREVER YOU GO.

The Dangerous Filth of the Internet

I find myself increasingly saddened by the wickedness I've seen recently online. We live in a wicked world, and it is sad to see such vileness, and wickedness spread across the internet.

In your mind, you may have already consigned this to a blog post condemning pornography, well you would be wrong. There is another pernicious filth being spread across the internet. Like pornography, it is also a dangerous and disgusting habit. It may just as great of a danger to members of the church as digital smut.

This particular sin is brought into our homes through internet users emboldened, and made courageous by the anonymity of the internet. Many are well-meaning church members just trying to do what is right. Others intentionally spread their filth like butter and syrup on bad pancakes, blaming their actions on the rights and duties of the priesthood, or their righteous indignation.

What is this filth I speak of? It is the same filth Jesus rebuked in his mortal ministry. It is hypocrisy, hate, and bullying. I have seen it in memes, comments, blog posts, and passing comments all across the internet. Sometimes it comes in light humor, such as a recent post I saw about linger-longers, and the awkward conversations we've all had with people we weren't comfortable with. It was meant to be humorous, but instead condemned the lonely, needy, and brokenhearted. Some come in pure meanness, such as multiple comments made in recent blogs about dating, sexuality, and other hot topics. One church member even responded to a post saying he would "punch in the face" anybody who disagreed with his beliefs.

Yes, we have been called to preach repentance to the world, but what does that mean? The answer can be found in the way Jesus treated people when he was here on Earth. I've heard it justified that Jesus said some particularly harsh words, but it is important to look at who he spoke those harsh words to. Study the New Testament if you are unsure. Did he condemn the awkward, unkempt guy who has a hard time speaking to girls? Did he condemn the homosexuals and lesbians? Did he condemn those seeking equality among their fellow humans?

No, he condemned the bullies, the haters, and the indignant. He condemned those who would stand between God and his children. He condemned those who only chose the right so their neighbors, wives, children, and bishops could honor their works. He condemned the "vipers" who laid in wait to accuse somebody of grievous sin, and demand that they be stoned to death.

Brothers and sisters, when Jesus comes to Earth, he won't turn first to the stoners, the druggies, the drunks, the LGBTs, the inactives, the non-RMs, or whatever group doesn't follow every commandment to the letter and demand repentance. No, he will turn to the members of the church, and ask why we have alienated so many of his children. He will ask why we have not loved our neighbors, why we have not clothed the beggars, why we have not fed the needy. He will ask why we have condemned so much of the world, instead of putting our arms around them, and showing them the way. We, as members of God's true church, are held to a higher standard than the rest of the world, that means that we will be held accountable first. That means that all of our unkind words, our bullying, our shunning, and ostracizing will be upon our heads. I daresay that it will be better at that day to have lived sinfully as a nonmember than to have spread hatred and injustice as a member.

Paul truly spoke that men in the latter days would be "lovers of their own selves," (2 Tim 3:2) but we know better, and need to love our neighbor instead.

From the scriptures:

Matthew 5 and 3 Nephi 12
Matthew 7:4-5
Matthew 23:13
Mark 12:38-40
John 13:34-35
John 17
2 Timothy 3
Mosiah 2:32
3 Nephi 1:24
3 Nephi 11:29-30
4 Nephi 1:3